I know. I used to react in a special way when I read so called "slander" against the movement. This is what happens in the mind of my former friends who are still active in the movement of Lyndon LaRouche: "Lyndon laRouche is gaining power right now due to the financial crisis, and therefore his opponents (led by some nasty oligarchs, adl, and the omnipresent Dennis King) have decided to fight him back. That is why they have tricked this blocked and bitter Swede (who off course never really learned the method of Lyn) to commit high-treason against his former associates by writing a new blog filled with lies..."
Then they would connect the dots: "Lets see... he writes in the Factnet therefore he is payed by those that like factnet. He also has these and these friends, which one can find out by searching the google for his name... And among them are X that is a friend of Y that knows the Social Democrat W which off course means that Tony Blair directs the whole thing since Tony Blair knows W and is associated to Y... And besides that his friend CCCCC is a well known hedonist,so too with DDDDD and our old member (me!) has actually written a thing about Nietzsche that seens to imply that Nietzsche was good and had many things in common with Christian mystics like Cusanus, and he is for homosexuality and queer thinking, which means that our old friend and member has become a satanist, he is possibly a homosexual hedonist too!"
Well... I am neither bitter, nor payed agent or satanist, or anything. I have no hard feelings against most of my former friends. I know that many of them are good people. Hussein, that leads the Swedish organization, is a wonderful person. But they are naive, as I was naive! Hussein is naive as I were naive. We did not expect Lyn to live up to what he said and overlooked all his crazy sides and all the problems with the organization. We justified the evil of LaRouche with the fact that we were in a war "for the survival of the world".
Five years has passed since I left. I have a good life enjoying my life with my girlfriend and our friends. I have changed my opinion about a lot of things, but many of the things I say and believe in today are things I believed secretly, or sometmes not so secretly, while a member. Noone ever prooved to me that homosexuality is wrong, so therefore I did not view it as wrong while a member, for example (i did not buy the story that it was a disease or that it was something God did not like).
I live a truthful life today. That is: I live according to MY truth. To what I (not laRouche, nor the bible, nor the organization) says. And to be truthful is to speak up when something is wrong, I believe. That is why I cant be silent anymore. I have to write down what I know about the organization! To help others!
One thing that my time in the organization has learned me is that DOUBLE STANDARDS are very wrong. I am literarily allergic to people that say one thing and do another. That off course means that I often feel disgust when looking at politics or religion...
Is it treason to be critical? In the eyes of LaRouche it is so. But this blog of mine is not about treason, it is about reason! If reason be reason, then so be it!
I am definiely somewhat of a hedonist these days though... :o) I enjoy sensual pleasures like trekking in the forrest for days. I enjoy sex (somehow sex was seen as something strange and too sensous by the organization) and have lots of very openminded friends, and I enjoy it!